i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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