Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
