Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
