i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
