Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize