You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
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At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
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Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize