i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
