I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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