I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
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Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
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we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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