So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
