So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
