going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
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I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
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IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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