you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
