I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
