I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
