i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
