i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
