yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
