Are we in a gay sports bar?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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