...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
