Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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