And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
