Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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