Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We are all done wearing pants today
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
