i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
