So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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