David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
