You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
