i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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