The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
