Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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