I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize