hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
it's like heaven, but drunker
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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