I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
