did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
the condom got lost in my hair
babies were throwing up all over the place
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
