I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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