i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
