Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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