you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
