this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
