Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
