someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
