some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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