Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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