i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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