i permit you to call me
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
