I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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