just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
