Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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