Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
oh god the rape fog is back!
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
