Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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