The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize