Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
