We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
