We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
