When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
