Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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