I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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